Good and Pure
by Kawa-neechan
Summary: When Ranma decides to help Kasumi make breakfast one day, things quickly get out of hand and the engagement is passed on to the older sister. Written purely for a perceived lack of RanSumi fics by Kawa as directed by Righteous Mystery.
1. Cinnamon

Ranma Saotome was not known to rise particularly early on his own accord. An uninformed observer might think differently as he could regularly be seen sparring with his father in the early morning, but they likely wouldn't know that it was this same father who woke him up in the first place. At which time exactly this happened also varied from one day to the next - Genma called it "being ready to face an opponent at any time," but Ranma preferred "how does the old man wake up so early," one of his life's minor mysteries.

Today was not such a day, for today Ranma Saotome was awake before the crack of dawn, and his father was not.

Stealthily, he crept around the house, looking for something to do. He could've gone to the dojo and practice, but considering his usual morning that felt like defeating the purpose. Ranma very much liked defeating, but the purpose was one of those things a wiser man might not wish to mess with.

Though he knew Kasumi woke up early, Ranma didn't expect her to already be there in the kitchen, making preparations for breakfast (or so he'd guess). He certainly didn't expect her to already be fully dressed, considering he was still only in his boxers and shirt.

Spotting the newcomer, Kasumi turned and smiled her usual smile at him. "Oh, Ranma. You're up early."

"I could say the same to you," Ranma replied at a respectfully low volume. "I thought _I_ was up early but here ya are, dressed 'n everything…"

Kasumi nodded. "Someone has to. Did you have trouble sleeping, Ranma?"

"I dunno," Ranma shrugged. "Not sure why I got up, but it don't matter now. Hey, you want some help with this?"

"That's very nice of you to offer, but I…"

"Nah, really. Ain't like I got anything better to do at this hour," Ranma gently insisted.

"I suppose you could help cut the vegetables," Kasumi considered, eying the cutting board she'd put in its usual spot on the counter earlier, a kitchen knife and some veggies awaiting their ultimate fate surrounding it.

Experienced as Kasumi was, she was impressed at how quickly yet neatly Ranma went at his assigned task. Clearly, he loved the breakfasts Kasumi prepared as he knew exactly how thick the slices should be. Meanwhile, Kasumi was free to work on the rest of the meal.

"It's so nice to have someone else helping out in the kitchen, to talk with."

"Ain't it? Doesn't Nabiki sometimes hang out here?".

"Well… yes, but that's usually all she does, just stand there and talk. She rarely offers to help. She's a dear but it just doesn't seem to occur to her, I think."

"What about Akane?"

Kasumi paused her stirring for a second or two in thought. "Akane might be even worse," she admitted. "She usually only comes here to rant or to try and cook."

"I think we all know how that ends," Ranma scoffed.

"What did you mean, Ranma? The rant or the cooking?"

"Both, I guess," he shrugged. Kasumi couldn't help but giggle in her free hand.

It wasn't long before Ranma finished and handed the chopped-up veggies over for Kasumi to use. "Could you set the table for me, Ranma?" Kasumi almost dared not ask.

"Yeah sure, no problem," he replied with a casual shrug and a nod of his head, much to Kasumi's personal relief, then turned away to set the table, matching the placements as close as he could recall to how Kasumi always had them. This too he did with an almost ruthless efficiency, tempered only by what little drowsiness remained.

Kasumi, having just about finished her own preparations, put down the little spoon she taste-tested with and took a moment to reflect on how nice it was to have an extra pair of skilled hands around. She smiled at the thought, but her gentle smile fell into a near-frown as she realized it had been and likely always would be a rarity to not prepare the family meals alone.

As perceptive as Ranma could be in a fight, the frown didn't register to him nearly as well as a nearby knocking sound just when he had placed the last little bowl. He looked up to find Nabiki standing in the door, clearly just having dragged herself out of bed; her hair was still frazzled and unkempt, and her normally sharp eyes looked somewhat dull. Clearly, this was a young lady who _really_ needed a cup of coffee in the morning. Nabiki and Ranma stared at each other for all of five seconds, one feeling as if caught with his hand in the cookie jar, the other as if _something_ had gone very wrong with the world.

"I can explain…?" Ranma half-whispered with a painful smile.

"Can it, buddy," Nabiki mumbled. "Coffee first, ezzanation later. Mebbe coffee 'n breakfuzz first."

As if on cue, Kasumi came in with a mug of hot coffee for her beloved middle sister. "Here you go, Nabiki."

Nabiki impressively downed her coffee in only three firm swigs, mumbling that it was "too early for this shit" in between, returned the mug, and went back upstairs, though she looked much better going away than she did coming in.

"Okay, that just happened," Ranma pondered out loud. "So what else is left, Kasumi?"

"Nothing. You might want to go wake up your father before he notices you're gone," Kasumi suggested. Sure enough, she just barely finished speaking when said father's voice bellowed out from upstairs, "Ranma, where're you hiding boy?"

Ranma shrugged at Kasumi, who gave him a smile and head tilt back. The two of them took their usual seats at the table and waited for the others to come down. Over a few minutes, the seats slowly filled, Sōun coming in first, newspaper in hand, followed closely by Nabiki, now combed and dressed, Akane, who took a second to notice Ranma wasn't fighting his dad, and finally said dad, who immediately grinned and moved to strike. Unfortunately for the big guy, Ranma had quickly flipped into a standing position and roundhoused his father into the yard.

"Alright Ranma," Akane started, the distrust evident in her voice. "How come you're already here?" The question had just gotten out when Akane reached the obvious conclusion. "You weren't doing anything perverted with my sister, _right?_ "

"Oy, oy, as if anyone could! Have you _seen_ her?"

Kasumi lightly blushed as she realized how Ranma's defense could be understood. She for one took it to be meant positively, but then again she _was_ Kasumi Tendō.

"Are you saying Kasumi isn't attractive enough for you?" Akane near-shouted, for _she_ was Akane first and foremost.

"No, of _course_ she's attractive! More than a certain un-cute tomboy I could name. I mean _look at her!_ She's not even doing anything, just sitting there with a smile and holy crap 'good and pure' jus' don't _cut_ it! Ya don't mess around with 'good and pure', 'Kane!"

"Oh my. _Ooh my_." Kasumi's façade almost cracked at Ranma's passionate words. Much to no one's surprise, Akane punched Ranma in the face almost immediately. To _most_ onlookers' surprise, Ranma didn't dodge or block the strike at all and let himself get flung clear over the breakfast table, into the furry mass of the giant panda who'd been sitting in the koi pond, watching it all happen. Which did mean that for once Ranma didn't change into a girl.

At least not until gravity decided to join them at breakfast and had Ranma slide down and into the pond proper.

When the newly changed Ranma stood up again, his father gave him a dirty look as if to say "why didn't you dodge, boy," though the only sound that came out of his mouth was an annoyed "paho." Ranma adjusted his outfit and shook his head to get the worst of the pond water out of his face, which incidentally meant smacking Genma in the face with his braid. An ursine growl was all the warning Ranma got that morning practice was most certainly _not_ on hold that day, and the boy-turned-girl would've been surprised at the sudden clawed swipes and kicks if he wasn't so utterly used to them.

Now, Genma had a fair amount of raw physical power at his disposal as a panda but he lacked the agility of his human form, much like how Ranma often felt like his girl form was measurably weaker than his male form. Pride had a way of making this power difference look worse than it really was, but in truth Ranma's girl form was not _that_ much weaker. He easily dodged the swipes - those claws could easily tear open his shirt and though he was loathe to admit it, Ranma _had_ developed a bit of this so-called "feminine modesty" - and returned the favor with some fierce punches. But not _too_ fierce, as holding back was one of the surefire ways to piss off the giant panda that was his father and that sort of thing made the big oaf clumsy, trading power for tactics.

After a few back-and-forths of claws and fists, having lead Genma out of the pond with his back towards the edge, Ranma decided to end it and put a bit of extra speed in his next salvo of punches. The near- _amaguriken_ strikes, concentrated on the panda's stomach, staggered him back onto the edge of the pond, and the final power strike to the chest toppled him over backwards.

Ranma smirked in victory and turned around. "You're gettin' sloppy, Pops. I hardly slept and still beat yer furry ass," he boasted, unaware that the sloppy one had risen again, his beady eyes squinted into almost mere lines and hefting one of the large rocks that made up the edge of the pond in his paws. "'Tween you and the guys, somebody oughta report me for animal cruelt- _EEAGH!_ "

Genma barked and produced a sign, "now who's sloppy," and watched his dazed son stumble back into the house, little chunks of rock falling out of his red hair. All three Tendō sisters had stood up in alarm as the red-haired martial artist danced a drunken path towards them. Sōun on the other hand seemed content to remain seated, a little angry at Genma for messing up his koi pond.

For a few tense seconds, Ranma twirled in front of the sisters. For a moment, he seemed ready to fall over in Akane's already reaching out arms, when he suddenly veered off and firmly planted himself into a surprised Kasumi's talents. The older sister, instead of reacting in any degree of shock beyond the initial surprise, embraced the dazed Ranma and held him there until he might recover, brushing away the rest of the rocks.

"...there there…"

Akane on the other hand, took all that way differently. Surely, the pervert was just faking all that! She'd _seen_ him do the Drunken Monkey form, and from what she could recall his stumbling around was just like that. So instead of finding a new respect for whoever developed the form, or wondering how a drunken stumble and a dazed one were so similar (they weren't particularly similar at all but hey), she decided on something else entirely.

"You utter _pervert!_ Stop groping my sister!" Akane cried out, completely ignoring how Ranma's arms limply hung to the ground, touching nothing. She reached out and firmly yanked on Ranma's braid, pulling him out of Kasumi's embrace.

The sudden and somewhat literal pain in the neck did happen to snap him out of his daze, though.

"What the hell, Akane? What'd I do?" Ranma asked as the only slightly larger girl held him by his poor abused shirt.

"You were groping Kasumi, you… you…"

Much to everyone's surprise, Kasumi pulled Ranma back to her, also by the braid though much gentler, and protectively held the tiny female warrior against her, still facing away from her.

"That is really no way to treat your fiancé, Akane," Kasumi scolded. It was ever so hard to see, but there was a bit of metaphorical fire in her eyes. The angry eyebrows were much clearer and ever so rare a sight since Ranma and Genma had arrived. "Are you really so blind to events?"

Nabiki glanced at her father and shared a subtle nod, both of them having seen it all quite clearly.

"Really Akane, the way you treat the poor gi-guy sometimes, I have to wonder if it was such a good idea when Nabiki and I picked you."

"Come to think of it, sis," Nabiki interjected, "wasn't that not our choice to make in the first place?"

"Well if you like the little pervert so much," Akane shot back, utterly ignoring the middle sister, "you can have him! The engagement is _over!_ "

If Sōun hadn't finished his tea earlier and wasn't intently watching, he'd have spat it out.

"Perhaps that might be better," Kasumi softly accepted as she held her new fiancé a little tighter against her.

" _What the fuck is happeniiing_ ," Ranma softly cried out from within Kasumi's warm embrace.


	2. Àirén Means Lover

Most of the Furinkan High students waiting at the gate felt somewhat confused when Ranma arrived with the wrong Tendō sister. They'd naturally expected him to be with Akane, but instead it was Nabiki. Naturally, the obvious rumor took form almost immediately.

"D'ya think Akane dumped him again?"

"Passed him onto Nabiki, poor girl."

"She doesn't look too worried about it."

"She will soon enough, mark my words."

"Ranma doesn't look very worried about it either, I don't think…"

"Akane certainly seems angry about _something_."

"Hey, if she's not engaged to Ranma any more d'ya think…?"

"No use losing teeth now, better confirm it first."

Near the gate, as usual, stood Tatewaki Kunō, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, seventeen years old but quickly going on eighteen by now, bokken in hand and confusion on his face, though he did his utmost to mask it.

"Hark, yon sorcerer has decided one fair Tendō is not sufficient to slake his moral depravity."

As Ranma took a moment to decipher what the upperclassman had said, Nabiki stepped up. "Kunō-baby, rest your blade. As many fiancées as Ranma's got, I assure you I'm not one of them."

"You speak truth, my favored purveyor?"

"On my honor," Nabiki swore, dubious as her honor was, "I am not engaged to Ranma Saotome in any way, shape, or form."

The audience murmured.

"Big sister is," she revealed. A well-timed thunder cracked.

"Oh shit here we go," Ranma mumbled, dropping his bag in eager anticipation of a fight.

"What!? You would tell me that this _vile cur_ would despoil the fairest and purest Tendō of all?" Kunō cried out, then dropped the dramatic speech. "And you _let_ him?"

"Well Kunō-baby," Nabiki explained after taking a second to process how _normal_ 'Tacchi' could sound, "I don't know how you and sis can be so _blind_ to the facts - not that I'm complaining - but I've known Ranma for almost a year now and I can tell you _and Akane_ right now with full conviction that he is not a vile sorcerer nor a pervert."

"Truly, even with so many fair lasses under his thrall?" (ah, 'Tatewaki' was back!)

"Sis how can you even _think_ that?" Akane cried out. "He was practically fondling Kasumi!"

"I was practically _unconscious!_ " Ranma defended loudly.

Nabiki merely facepalmed. "Sometimes I have to wonder who's stupider," she muttered to herself. Only she knew if that comparison included Ranma or not. "Ranma, just come here and knock Kunō out already."

"Ah, finally something that makes sense! Thanks, Nabs," Ranma called out as he happily jumped up to deliver a kick to Kunō's numb skull.

* * *

All good things must come to an end, of course, and that included the idea of a school day in Furinkan making sense. Even accounting for the angry glares Akane kept giving Ranma during class - those were really nothing new when one thought about it. During lunch however, Akane found herself accosted by Kunō.

"Oh beauteous Akane Tendō," the insane swordsman crooned. "Now that you are free from the foul sorcerer Saotome's enthrallment, come to my arms and embrace me! We may finally elope in peace!"

It was almost like the guy had no ability to produce long-term memory, or at the very least a very selective ability.

As Akane valiantly fought off her wanna-beau, Ranma sat on the lawn with his sorta-kinda buddies Hiroshi and Daisuke.

"Give it to us straight, Ranma ol' buddy, ol' pal. What actually happened?" Hiroshi started.

"Y'really wanna know, huh?"

"Wouldn't ask if we didn't," Daisuke confirmed.

"Okay, but I'll only tell ya once. I woke up early, found Kas already up and about'a make breakfast, so I thought I'd offer to help. It was nice, y'know?"

"From what I know of Kasumi Tendō, I think I can imagine how nice that might've been," Hiroshi agreed, then quickly amended, "I didn't mean that in a perverted sense."

"Good, I'd have to bop ya otherwise. Anyway, 'Kane thought I had… ulterior motives, I think they're called?"

"Posterior?" Daisuke jokingly 'helped'.

"No man, 'ulterior' is right. Please, continue."

"Heheh. So Pops and I get our morning spar in, and well, y'know that koi pond we got?"

The boys nodded.

"The absolute tool bashed one a' those rocks against my head! Like he'd forgotten that one time."

"Horrifying thought right there," Hiroshi shivered.

"So the next bit's just what I pieced together afterward but _apparently_ I stumbled into Kasumi's arms 'n she hugged me."

"Dawww."

"And then of course Akane went ballistic and dumped my ass onto Kasumi," Ranma finished. Seeing a raging swordsman running up to his lunch spot, Ranma considered how the overall day'd gone and made a decision.

"Fuck this, not gonna let him ruin my day. Guys, if the teachers ask where I'm at, tell 'em Akane helped make my lunch."

"Harsh, Saotome," Daisuke scolded with sarcasm written all over his face, and watched Ranma Saotome run from a fight.

* * *

"I'm back!" Ranma called out as he entered the Tendō home.

"Welcome back~" Kasumi replied as expected. "You're early."

"Wasn't gonna let Kunō ruin my day," Ranma summarized as he entered the kitchen. "Y'need anything, Kas?"

"I was actually about to go grocery shopping, but thanks."

"Hold up, Kas," Ranma stopped her. He stood and considered his options for a moment. "How much d'ya usually get?"

"Oh, enough for one or two days, depending. A good bag or two," Kasumi answered, holding up a shopping bag.

"A'ight. How many bags y'got?"

"Five, I think. Why?"

"What if I came with? With me along you could carry all five and last like… almost a week in one trip," Ranma offered with a smile, then frowned. "Did I do that math right?"

"Close enough. Thank you for the offer," Kasumi said in acceptance, finding herself reaching for the boy's bare arms. He didn't flinch or step back, or say anything at all when she prodded his biceps, remarkably firm even at rest. "Yes, you probably could carry four bags."

Handing four empty shopping bags to Ranma and keeping the fifth for herself, Kasumi turned to leave. "Shall we be off then, _dearest?_ " she teased.

"Yer killin' me here, Kasumi."

* * *

The actual shopping was uneventful enough, save for some of the shopkeepers remarking on how Ranma was there to help carry the goods. Some of them seemed a little sad that Kasumi wouldn't have much reason to come back as soon as usual, but most apparently had some awareness of how busy she was and understood what Ranma secretly had in mind with his offer all along: to give Kasumi more free time.

On the way back, another good time decided now would be an excellent time to demonstrate that history repeats for many things, including such abstractions as "good times".

The only warning the happy shoppers got was a sharp _ring-ring_ before a certain bicycle, belonging to and ridden by a certain Chinese girl, embedded its front tire into Ranma's forehead, and Ranma used that warning to drop his bags.

" _Nǐ hǎo, àirén!_ You help carry food for Nice Girl? Is good training for married life!"

Shampoo hopped off her bike, leaving it balancing on her love interest's head as she moved to give him her usual tight embrace.

"Erk, Shampoo, would you mind?" Ranma struggled to say as the busty warrior waitress rubbed herself all over him in public.

"Oh my. Dear Shampoo really should learn to appreciate her beloved's feelings," Kasumi pondered out loud as she watched Ranma try not to touch Shampoo inappropriately, yet Shampoo kept trying to place her body such that Ranma _had_ to.

"Nice Girl stay out of Shampoo business," Shampoo retorted, then realized she was talking to Kasumi. "Please?"

Kasumi put down her shopping bag, reached deep into Shampoo's mass of silken hair, and firmly grasped her by the neck. Dormant instincts, deeply buried in the back of Shampoo's mind, flared to momentary life as her whole body went slack in Kasumi's grip, releasing her hold on Ranma. With a soft mew, Shampoo let Kasumi pull her away from her _àirén_.

"You'll be good, right Shampoo dear?" Kasumi asked as she gently manoeuvred Shampoo into a sitting position on the street.

Shampoo nodded as an impressed Ranma removed the bike from his head and picked up his bags.

"We'll be off then. Nice meeting you, Shampoo dear."

When the new couple disappeared around the corner, Shampoo realized her position.

"What just happen?"

* * *

"Ranma?" Kasumi said as she put the kettle on while Ranma put away the last of the groceries.

"Yeah?"

"How do you feel about Shampoo?"

Ranma nearly dropped a leek. "What a question."

"Just be honest with me. I won't be angry."

 _As if it's possible to be dishonest with her_ , Ranma thought. "Well," he started as he joined Kasumi in the living room, "Shampoo is… well, she's nice, I guess? Looks good, smells great. Excellent fighter too, real important."

"Of course it is," Kasumi interjected, not a hint of sarcasm on her lips. Being an excellent fighter _was_ an important trait for Ranma's friends to have.

"I just wish she wasn't so… clingy, y'know?"

"I think I know, yes."

"She's got tight embraces down to an art. I don't wanna give her any wild ideas about how I might feel towards her, but the way she holds onto me I can't grab her and push her off without a handful a' boob," Ranma explained as the kettle went off.

"Oh my yes, I thought I noticed as much." Kasumi quickly retrieved the kettle, returned to her seat, and poured them both a cup of tea. "How _do_ you feel about her though? Anything romantic?"

Ranma took a deep breath and stretched in his seat, reminding himself that Kasumi wouldn't get angry. "Oh, that's a good question, really. There might be _something_ there, but I wouldn't say I love her in a romantic sense… not really. I mean sure there's a bit of manly pride in there-"

"A bit?" Kasumi interrupted with a smile.

"Okay, a lotta male pride, in 'having a hot girl on each arm'," Ranma finger-quoted, "but I'd chalk that one down to machismo, to the whole 'man among men' thing."

"Ah yes, _that_ ," Kasumi lightly scoffed as Ranma took a big swig of his tea.

"I'll admit it. I know it's wrong ta think like that. Ever since I got back I've been learnin' otherwise. But between my own damn pride and Pops' acceptance 'n shit, it's hard to be even a _little_ sensitive."

Ranma took a small, measured sip of his tea.

"So yeah, if there was no other engagements and maybe she didn't wanna murder my dumb ass for defeatin' her back then, Shampoo and I might've been lovers, I guess? Like, if I hadn't been a girl at the time? I figure that sorta thing could really sour a relationship."

"Would you take her out on a date if she wasn't so clingy?"

"I dunno. Can friends go out with friends, _as_ friends?"

"I don't think it'd still count as a 'date' then, but yes."

"I think I might like that. Just take her out every now and then as friends. Maybe bring the others along… if they don't kill each other."

"Wouldn't that be nice," Kasumi imagined as she nursed her cup of tea.

"Yeah. Too bad the old ghoul's so set on those laws. I figure Shampoo could be talked into not callin' me ' _àirén_ ' but good luck talkin' Cologne outta callin' me 'son-in-law'," Ranma half-joked as he slammed back the rest of his tea.

"Or at the very least use it as a nickname," Kasumi offered. "I quite like the sound of it, to be honest… _àirén_."

Ranma blushed. "Don't even think of it... not yet."


	3. Things Go Boom

One could say a lot about the Kunō siblings, most of them negative, but one would have to admit that Tatewaki Kunō was an excellent swordsman, within his style. Likewise, his sister Kodachi was an excellent gymnast. Of course, those who knew the girl well enough also knew that gymnastics was not the only thing the Black Rose was good at. For example, she was also quite proficient in sneaking.

Such it was that while Ranma Saotome took a nap in his room - the guest room, actually - Kodachi Kunō quickly made her way onto the Tendō grounds and in through the window that had carelessly been left unlocked.

There he lay, her beloved Ranma-darling, arms and legs loosely splayed out, the very _picture_ of relaxed. Now, Ranma was known to have such finely-honed fighting instincts that if one were to try and attack him in his sleep, he'd still see the attack coming and dodge it without waking. With a violent girl like Akane as his fiancée, this sixth sense rarely let up, but now that he was engaged to the much more peaceful Kasumi…

Normally, Ranma would've noticed Kodachi's presence already, let alone let her get close enough to apply her trademark paralyzing powders. By the time he'd woken up to find Kodachi on top of him, his limbs were already half-dead, and hers entwined around him. It was actually not unlike Shampoo before her, but roughly ten times as unwanted.

"Ko-da-chi… get off-a me you…" Ranma attempted to say.

"Oh, Ranma-darling, my dear brother told me all about what happened," the deranged gymnast crooned as she cupped Ranma's chin.

 _No way he told it right_ , the trapped fighter rightly considered.

"As much as a step up Miss Kasumi is from that little barbarian she calls her sister, you deserve a loving wife who can fend for herself, my dearest."

Ranma just barely managed to raise an eyebrow at that. _Kasumi can totally defend herself, you freak. I've seen her knife._

As Kodachi continued to prattle what she might consider to be sweet nothings, she got increasingly touchy-feely. Ranma had a reasonably low threshold for that sort of stuff to begin with, and even less for the more unwanted among his love interests, but he'd already let Kodachi paralyze him and couldn't call for help.

 _Okay_ ,he considered, _I can't move my limbs to push her off. Can't actually move anything, really. Not gonna admit it out loud but dammit she got me good. What can I do though? Mōko Takabisha might be an idea if I could aim, but…_

Just when the intruder moved her hand way too far southward, inspiration struck. The _Mōko Takabisha_ was an adaptation of Ryōga's _Shishi Hōkōdan_ , which was actually not a projectile attack at all. In its true form, the _hōkōdan_ was more of a bomb.

Bombs exploded. A violent expulsion of energy, as it were.

If anything would get Kodachi to release him, it'd be a violent expulsion of energy. With no time to pool his pride and being too happy to use depression like Ryōga, Ranma pulled in all of the single most well-felt emotion he had available to him.

Desperation.

Downstairs, Sōun and Genma were, as usual, playing their board game. The former was just about to make a move that would certainly ensure his victory when suddenly a tremor reverberated through the house, along with a loud crashing noise and a woman's scream. As Sōun and his daughters ran up the stairs to see what had happened, Genma quickly turned the whole shōgi board around and _then_ followed.

The guest room was an utter mess. Objects had been thrown around as if a fairly large concussive force had struck, which was not particularly wrong, with a still paralyzed Ranma in the epicenter. A person-sized hole in the outside wall marked the worst damage.

"What in blazes happened here? Ranma, explain yourself!" Sōun demanded at the sight.

Ranma merely croaked, "Ko… ko…"

"... _neko_?" Kasumi guessed, then spotted a certain implement hanging on the edge of the hole in the wall; a gymnastics ribbon. "Oh, _her_ ," she confirmed with the mildest of disgust. Looking out through the hole, she could _just_ spot a disheveled Kodachi stumble away.

"So… what do we do about Ranma?" asked Sōun. "He looks a bit out of it."

"Allow me, Tendō," offered Genma. He produced a glass of water and upended it over his prone son. The shock of the change, mild as it was, negated most of the paralysis. "As much as it pains me to see the boy like this, it's preferable."

"Forget Ranma, Daddy," Nabiki complained as her big sister cradled the recovering redhead. "The guest room is ruined! Where are the freeloaders supposed to sleep now? Surely you don't expect us to share our rooms?"

The fathers shared a knowing look. "Actually, Nabiki? Since it's only proper a couple should sleep together in the same room, why don't we have Ranma join Kasumi in hers?"

Genma nodded. "Until the hole is patched up and the room usable again, I'll be happy with a futon in Tendō's room. We're old friends, right?"

If he could at the time, Ranma would've gagged a bit.

As it was, the little redhead was just a little too busy considering what had just been decided. He was to sleep in Kasumi's room? Even with the engagement, that just seemed wrong! He managed to squeeze an appropriate expression onto his face just as Kasumi looked him in the eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Ranma. It's okay for two girls to share a room, right?"

Somehow, the logic escaped Ranma, but he managed a shrug anyway.

"I'm sorry, what?" Akane cried out. "Daddy, are you out of your mind, letting that… _boy_ sleep in Kasumi's room?"

"They _are_ engaged, Akane dear. Unless of course you'd like to take back 'that _boy_ ' already?" her father retorted. It was almost as if he'd taunted her about it, but that was surely unthinkable.

"Oh for crying out loud _FINE!_ " Akane shouted as she stormed out the door and down the hall to her own room on the other end of the house.

Meanwhile, Kasumi once more had the little redhead in a tight hug, again with the object of her affection facing away from her. If the paralysis had worn off, Ranma made no attempt to show it. "You wouldn't do anything untowards, right _àirén_?"

"Thought ya wouldn't say that," Ranma croaked.

Kasumi just giggled a little and held her fiancé closer. She stood up, still holding the little redhead in her arms, and announced, "I guess I'll just get Ranma set up in my room, then. Nabiki, could you hand us his futon?"

Nabiki muttered a mildly-confused affirmative and handed Ranma's futon to him ("thanks, Nabs"), while he was still held in Kasumi's arms, and watched them leave.

"As a wise man once said, 'what the fuck?'"

* * *

"Kasumi, I still don't get why I gotta sleep with you- I mean, sleep in your room," Ranma argued, still in his girl form.

"You heard father," Kasumi replied as she put a few things aside to make room. "We're engaged now, and it's 'only proper'... at least in his eyes."

"What about yours though?"

"Whatever do you mean, Ranma dear?"

"D' _you_ think it's proper?"

Kasumi stopped to think. "I think I'd like having someone here that I might… oh, I shouldn't say it." She suppressed a giggle.

Ranma, having very little feminine modesty, quickly got his pants and shirt off, then sat cross-legged on his futon. "Say what? Someone that ya might what, Kasumi?"

Kasumi sighed. "I still remember what I said back then when you first arrived here. That younger men bored me, that they were so… _young_. I'd hoped you'd be older than me. But I came to realize that despite your… well…"

"Go on, say it."

"Despite your tendency to act up against Akane, you are actually quite mature for your age."

Ranma blinked at the statement. "Huh. Imagine that. I think that might be the first time someone said that about me."

"You may be only sixteen, Ranma-"

"Not for much longer~"

"-but you are not a 'boy'," Kasumi finished. "Your present state aside, that is," she amended with a giggle she did not bother to hide.

"Yeah?"

"You're a wonderful young _man_."

"...Huh," the very beacon of conversational intelligence repeated.

"Despite all appearances, you certainly have a sense of honor," Kasumi continued. Ranma thought back to those times he outright tricked Ryōga, pretending to be his fiancée, or even the sister he _knew_ didn't exist.

"I see it every time with the other girls. You're not the kind of guy who'd do anything 'untoward'."

"I guess. I wouldn't wanna give 'em the wrong idea, but sometimes things jus' don't work out that, y'know?"

"And then they think you do in fact love them like they hope you do?" Kasumi filled in.

"Yeah, I guess that's why they keep comin' back, maybe," Ranma figured. He turned around to find Kasumi with her sweater off, reaching for her skirt. "Woah _woah!_ " he cried and turned back, his face almost as red as his hair at the time. "Kasumi!"

"It's okay, Ranma. I trust you," Kasumi softly said. The words echoed in Ranma's head. "After all…"

 _I wouldn't do anything untoward?_ Ranma guessed as his blush receded.

"...it's okay if we're both girls, right?" Kasumi said instead, ending in a soft and gentle laugh, Ranma's own boyish laugh quickly joining in. Ranma didn't care afterwards, just watching as Kasumi took her skirt off and slipped on a nightgown. Something wasn't quite right, Ranma considered as he slipped into his futon and Kasumi under her blanket. There was some step that Kasumi had skipped, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it…

There was a faint rustle behind him, and Ranma suddenly felt Kasumi's bra hit him in the back of his head, followed closely by more gentle and soft laughter.

 _The fuck? Oh, right. That was it exactly_ , he concluded. The lady had a sense of humor. Without much more than a light scoff, the little redhead pointedly did _not_ put his hands on the undergarment, even to remove it.


	4. An Average Sunday

Ranma woke up, still in his female body, to find Kasumi missing. A quick glance at the alarm clock next to Kasumi's bed showed that he was now too late to help her make breakfast. He only bothered putting on some pants, then made his way downstairs, hoping he'd at least get to set the table or something. And indeed, the table was yet empty.

"Good morning Kasumi," Ranma greeted as he entered the kitchen.

"Good morning _àirén_ ," Kasumi returned, and giggled as she saw Ranma's head.

"Please don't. Hey, you want me to set the table for ya?"

"If you like, that'd be wonderful."

A few minutes after this last remaining task, the other people living in the Tendō home shuffled in, much like before. Unlike before, it was Ranma who handed Nabiki a mug of fresh, hot coffee - something both of them recognized as a fairly large risk considering his current form.

"Y'got a little _somethin'_ there, Saotome," Nabiki mumbled between drinks, pointing at Ranma's head. Ranma merely nodded and smiled in a way not entirely unlike how Kasumi smiled.

"Please don't smile like that. It's unsettling when you do that."

Ranma grinned.

"Better, thanks."

Just when Nabiki and the men sat down at the table, Akane came tromping down the stairs, still not entirely down with the new engagement. As she too took her usual spot, which was right next to Ranma still, she noticed what Ranma had on his head and almost immediately went off.

"Ranma, is that Kasumi's... you goddamned _pervert!_ "

"I swear on the old lech's grave," Ranma calmly but solemnly replied, "I haven't laid a finger on this bra, or any other undergarment Kasumi owns, without her explicit permission."

Ranma's choice of words gave pause to Sōun and Genma.

"...The master isn't dead yet, is he?" Sōun carefully asked in a half-whisper.

"We can only only hope, Tendō," Genma replied. "We can only hope."

"If you haven't touched it, why's it on your head!?" Akane demanded, pointing at the offending undergarment.

"Because I threw it at him last night as a joke," Kasumi revealed, smiling wider than usual.

Akane sputtered.

"Ranma, dear? I think Akane's had enough," Kasumi gently concluded. "You can take it off now."

"Tch. Y'know, I was _almost_ startin' to understand why the old lech likes 'em so much," Ranma half-jokingly stated as he carefully grasped the bra on his head and handed it over to its rightful owner, who gently stuffed it in the pocket of her apron.

"Is that right, Saotome?" Nabiki asked.

"Nah, just kiddin', still wanna kill the ol' dirty bastard."

The men sighed in relief.

"It _was_ remarkably nice and silky to the touch though. Can barely imagine what it must feel like when properly worn."

The men nearly choked on their drinks.

"You're horrible when you're on a roll, Saotome," Nabiki remarked. "You know that, right?"

"I'm just in a good mood and I like to see Pops squirm. Besides, I can totally imagine - I've worn bras before! Heck, I _own_ two! It's just been a good while since I last used 'em."

"We _all_ like to see your dad squirm, kid. With that in mind, if you want a reminder of what a properly worn bra feels like, you could help me make some money."

"You mean a photoshoot of me in lingerie?"

"What did you think?"

"I dunno," Ranma considered, noticing from the corner of his eye that Akane was slowly reaching a boiling point. "I feel like Kasumi oughta agree with it. I mean, I'm her fiancé, right?"

Kasumi merely smiled as Nabiki and Ranma faced her. "If Ranma gets a fair share of the profits and has his panties on in every shot, I'm okay with it."

Nabiki faked a shiver at the phrase 'fair share', but nodded her acceptance. "Maybe we'll throw in some beefcake shots for you, big sis?"

"Oh I don't need any of those," Kasumi declined, her usual smile slowly growing a little wider. "After all, I have the real thing."

Akane stormed off to her room, ranting loudly.

Sōun coughed in his fist. "My dear Nabiki's business aside, you don't intend to stay like this all day, right _son_?"

"To be entirely honest," Ranma replied, "I don't feel like I really care one way or the other. I might change if I go practice, but other'n that… guy, girl, I'm still me, right?"

"Girl you is better to cuddle with though," Kasumi tossed in.

"Hey, here's an idea," Sōun called out and faced his eldest daughter. "Since Ranma's been helping you out so much lately, why don't you let him train you, like I used to when you were little?"

"Oh my, it's been so long though?"

"As the housewife said to her father," Genma muttered. Ranma glared at him, unimpressed.

"It really doesn't work as well when you change it around like that, Pops."

Nabiki smirked. "That's what she said."

"Despite what I said earlier, I'm still a guy, dammit," Ranma retorted with questionable seriousness.

* * *

"Gotta admit, Kas. Gi looks good on ya," Ranma praised as he watched his fiancée stand at attention in the dojo. He was also dressed in a gi, but still in his female form as he felt it might help.

"Thanks. I don't think it's very flattering on me but that's not the point, isn't it?"

"Yup. Now, show me what you already know."

Kasumi nodded and started on a few basic kata. They were slow and more than a little rusty, but still better than Ranma could've hoped for. Even if Mr. Tendō hadn't taught his daughters anything at all since their mom died, Kasumi clearly retained a fair bit of the basics. Her form was rusty, but the very core of Tendō-ryu Anything Goes shone through with every punch, kick, and dodge.

When Kasumi nearly tripped over her own feet, Ranma was behind her in a flash to catch her before she hit the ground.

"Keep your feet in mind, Kas. Y'gotta know where each of your limbs are for a move like that. Here, I'll show ya."

Ranma quickly took position next to Kasumi and demonstrated the same move that Kasumi had tried, playing through the few that preceded it, but noticeably slowed down.

"Right here, this is where it went wrong," he pointed out. Kasumi looked at her fiancé's feet and noted their relative positions. "When you got here, you were more like this." Ranma moved his feet around to match how Kasumi had them before. "If you were to try the move now, you'd catch one foot on the other leg and fall over."

"How'd I get in the wrong position then?"

"I figure you must've taken one step too many," Ranma answered. He took an earlier preceding pose again, then two small steps forward, ending in the correct position. "See? But if you take another…"

"I see. Thank you, Ranma. Shall I try again?"

"Surprise me."

It wasn't that surprising at all that the second run through the whole sequence was considerably less rusty than the first, nor that Kasumi successfully managed to execute the move that had tripped her up first. The sequence only slowed down again afterwards, for obvious reasons.

She was, after all else was said and done, a Tendō.

"Excellent," Ranma praised. "Now whaddya say we take a quick break and see if you can land a hit on me."

"Oh my."

"It's a spar, it's allowed. Besides, even with a start this good, I doubt you could hit me."

"What's this about Kasumi hitting you?" a new voice asked. Ranma and Kasumi turned to the door, only to find Ryōga there, pack and umbrella on his back and a small stack of stroopwafels in his hand.

"Nothin', Porkchop. I'm just trainin' her."

"Kasumi practicing the art? Now I've seen everything," Ryōga sarcastically scoffed.

"Only now? Where you even been, man? Haven't seen you around for a month."

"Oh, you know. Around. Just got back from Gouda and _boy_ are my legs tired."

"Oh my. Don't they have a lot of waterways there?" Kasumi asked, knowing better than either boy where Gouda was. "Wouldn't that be a hassle when you…?"

Ryōga nearly dropped his treats. "You know!?"

"Oh, I've known all along. I just figured you'd like to keep it a secret," Kasumi revealed with her usual smile. Then she dropped it into a frown that spoke of warning. "No funny business with my little sister, though."

"Ah, of course not, Ms. Tendō! Wouldn't dream of it, haha!"

With that, he threw the stroopwafels at Ranma and ran.

* * *

"Oh my, I haven't been this sweaty in years," Kasumi remarked, pulling on some bits of her gi that firmly clung to her body. In the end, she hadn't managed to land a single hit on her opponent slash teacher, but she really couldn't care less.

"Yeah, it's some workout innit?" Ranma agreed, looking not nearly as winded. "Gotta admit, you got the talent for it, Kas. Just like 'Kane."

Kasumi blushed at the praise, imagined herself crushing cinder blocks in the yard, then recoiled a bit at the smell. "I don't know about you, but I think we should take a bath before anything else," she proclaimed as she stood up.

"You're right, that's probably a good idea… wait, 'we'? Like, together?"

At the other side of the table, Sōun slammed down his newspaper and cried in joy.

"Why not? It'll save water and we _are_ engaged, are we not?"

"I guess." Ranma shrugged. "Not gonna say it's okay if we both girls?"

"I thought that was obvious by now," Kasumi said as she walked off to the bathroom, Ranma quickly following behind.

In the laundry room, it took Ranma a moment to register that Kasumi taking her gi off in his presence, and that her underwear would absolutely follow. "Kasumi," he whined softly, gripping his own gi.

"It's just a bath, Ranma," Kasumi said as she put her sweat-soaked gi in the bin. "You'd think a boy in your… unique position wouldn't care as much. What was it you told Akane back then? Nothing you hadn't seen before?"

"Yeah, but you're _you_ ," Ranma argued, his back turned to Kasumi as she peeled off her sports bra and he unfastened his belt.

"Even if it's not me, I'm quite sure you'll see plenty naked women. I mean, how often have you barged into the girls locker room now?"

"Oh geez," Ranma considered as he took his gi off. "Does that include the times I was chasin' the old lech?"

"It doesn't matter how often you did, dear. Only that you did it with noble intent," Kasumi revealed, then stepped into the bathroom proper. Ranma, now alone in the room, quickly stripped down as he heard Kasumi wash up and get into the tub.

"Ah, Kas?"

"It's safe, there's nothing to see here~"

Ranma nodded to himself and quickly dashed into the bathroom. True to her word, Kasumi was submerged to her neck and between the steam and suds nothing much was visible. Ranma took a moment to wash up in turn, still trying not to look but much more relaxed about the situation.

The moment Ranma too was in the bathtub, he realized his mistake and sank in down to his nose, his face as red as his hair was no longer.

Kasumi giggled. "You really need to learn to relax, dear."

"Maybe I should," Ranma bubbled.

Making a point to keep his eyes closed, Ranma sat back and tried not to think of the beautiful woman across from him.

* * *

"Dad, where's Kasumi?" Akane asked. "I need her opinion."

"I believe she's having a bath after the workout Ranma gave her. Think he's in there with her, in fact."

Akane's eye twitched. "No… good… groping _bastard! I'mma kill him!_ "

* * *

"So I told him, 'if you ever wanna see her again you'd really don't wanna do that to me.'"

"Oh my, poor Tatewaki. How'd he take that?"

"Badly of course. That guy has some _serious_ fuckin' issues."

"Issues of _Playboy_ , issues of _Beppin_ , issues of _Video Boy_ …" Kasumi jokingly filled in.

"Are those what I think they are?" Ranma asked with a vague idea what those were.

"Well, that depends. What _do_ you think they are?"

"I'm thinking they're p-"

Right then, a livid Akane stormed into the bathroom and took a fierce swing at Ranma's head. " _Die, you pervert!_ "

In a flash, Ranma stood up in the bathtub in full defense mode and caught Akane's fist in his open palm. "What the actual fuck do you think you're _doin'_ , 'Kane!? Can't people have a friendly chat tryin'a ignore how they're both naked anymore?"

Kasumi, for her part, had no chance to ignore how they were indeed both naked as she caught full view of Ranma's wild horse. She blushed deeply and looked away, pretending the showerhead was more interesting to look at, while Ranma bodily removed his ex-fiancée from the premises.

"Right! Where were we?"


	5. Not a Date

"Yeah, that'd be great. See ya then, bye!"

Ranma put down the phone and sighed, hoping things would go well for a change, when Akane came down the stairs.

"Who was that?"

"Jus' Shampoo."

"Oh really." Akane knitted her brow. "What'd _she_ want?"

"Nothin' actually. I wanted somethin' from her," Ranma carefully replied.

"Oh _really_ now," Akane repeated. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Hear me out, 'Kane. I invited her to go out for some ice cream later today, so we could maybe talk about our relationship."

"Your… _relationship_ with Shampoo?"

"I don't think she sees it the same way I do."

"And so you call her to go out for ice cream. Real smooth, jackass."

"Well, I _was_ going to invite you to come with since _we_ need to talk about our relationship too but if you're gonna call me names…"

"Then why'd you invite her _first_?"

"Cos I just came from over there, the phone's here, and your room's up the stairs over there."

Akane couldn't argue with the logistics and shrugged. "Does she know I'm coming?"

Ranma nodded. "'Course, we both know she's gonna try 'n hug me again the moment she sees me. _Especially_ if she sees you cos it'd get a rise outta ya. Could you do me a favor when that happens, 'Kane?"

"I guess?"

"When she does, instead of gettin' angry about it, grab her by the neck for me."

"By the neck? Like a cat?"

Ranma twitched a little. "Yes, exactly like that. It's somethin' Kasumi came up with. Think it's got somethin' ta do with her curse form, like leftover influences or somethin'. Like when I walk past a boutique with all 'em mannequins in the display window and I catch myself lookin' at their dresses 'n such?"

"You _do_ that?"

"I've wondered about that for a while now, but seein' Shampoo react like that helped me figure it out. Besides, don't _you_?"

"Yeah, but I'm a girl. I'm allowed to look at the dresses in the window!"

Ranma looked Akane straight in the eyes. "So am I damn near half the time, and it fuckin' _lingers_."

"Huh."

"Y'know what? I might as well say it. This one time, I nearly put on some a' my girl clothes before I realized I was a guy at the time. Just… bam, din' even think about it."

"You're wearing girl clothes right now," Akane remarked.

"True, but I also _am_ a girl right now so it works out."

"And you undid your braid." Akane poked at the relatively simple ponytail resting between the redhead's shoulder blades.

"Nothin' to worry about there, 'Kane. Just felt like it. Y'wanna change into somethin' cuter for this little not-date?" Ranma asked, indicating Akane's school uniform.

"Whose treat is this anyway?" Akane asked as she turned back to the stairway.

"Mine. Now go, we're supposed to be there in five!"

* * *

Kasumi sat in the park, relaxing with one of Dr. Tōfu's medical books in hand. She watched all the other people pass her by as she thought back about all the things that had happened.

Akane had snapped, taking Kasumi's motherly concern as romantic intent. Kasumi couldn't really help it at the time - Ranma's girl form was quite small, even after almost a year of growth. She imagined what could've happened if Ranma had stumbled into Nabiki's arms instead, then remembered last time Nabiki had taken over the engagement. Maybe the second time would go better. Maybe it would be more… honest?

She paused and nibbled on one of Ryōga's stroopwafels that she'd brought along.

Kasumi had been very happy with Ranma's domestic help, and grateful for all the extra free time it gave her. After that encounter with Shampoo, she'd teasingly started calling Ranma the same thing Shampoo always did. She was a little concerned at how quickly it became less and less of a tease…

Ranma certainly seemed impressed when Kasumi removed Shampoo from him, though. And he was an excellent teacher. Maybe not as good as her father, but certainly better than _his_. She rightfully figured there was no risk of being repeatedly dropped into a pit of starving cats.

* * *

" _Nǐ hǎo, àirén!_ You and Violent Girl wait long?"

"Nah, we got here like… what, half a minute ago? Right 'Kane?"

"Just about, yeah."

As expected, Shampoo glomped onto Ranma and buried her face in the smaller girl's breasts. Akane twitched, but remembered her promise. She roughly reached into the warrior's flowing purple tresses and found her neck. True to Ranma's words, the larger girl went slack in Akane's grip and was easily pulled off her unwilling paramour.

"Thanks, 'Kane. Shampoo, this is the kinda stuff I wanted ta talk to ya about actually."

"Mya?"

"Akane, you can let her go now. I think you're causin' an instinct conflict or somethin'."

"Ah, right!"

"Anyway we went ahead and ordered for ya," Ranma remarked as a server came up to their table with three large bowls of ice cream, all different. "Hope I got this right."

" _Àirén_ got right, yes. _Xièxiè_."

"May wendy. Now then! Akane, did you know Shampoo has a _very_ special way of huggin' that ya _can't_ get out of without touchin' her in bad places?"

"Is true. Old technique Shanpu learn from mother. No let go without touching Shanpu boobs."

"It wouldn't be so bad if not for two simple problems. One bein' that if I were to get out with you watchin', you'd actually have more reason to knock me out."

"Well yeah, _if_ you were to touch her like that…"

"'Cept I make a _point_ not to! I hoped at first you'd see that Shampoo's the only one actually doin' anythin' but ya keep pinnin' it on me and I gotta ask, why?"

"Is because Violent Girl is see what wants to see?"

"You could at least call me by name. So you're telling me that you _don't_ enjoy her rubbing herself all over you?"

"I'll be honest with ya, 'Kane. Any warm-blooded man would enjoy a pretty lady all over 'em."

"Says girl."

"Y'know girls can like other girls, right?"

"Of course! Shanpu from village of woman warriors. Lots of female go around."

"But we gettin' sidetracked here. Thing is, I _would_ enjoy it a lot more if Shampoo didn't wanna haul my ass back to China, and didn't have a crapload a' other fiancées who'd get jealous over it. Like I told Kasumi… Shampoo, if I didn't have that crapload a' other fiancées and I'd been a guy when we first met and I kicked yer ass back then?"

"You accept kiss of marriage and stay in village as Shanpu husband?"

"Pretty likely. 'Course, Pops'd probably try 'n bail, basically kidnap me so we can go back to Japan 'n meet up with the Tendōs 'n all that… but you'd actually be in th' best position then!"

"But you didn't. You were a girl back then, right?"

"Yeah, I figure spendin' a couple months being _hunted to death_ kinda… what was it I told Kas? It kinda sours a relationship."

Shampoo, to her credit, seemed a bit ashamed as she gazed at her ice cream.

"But y'know what Shampoo? I'm willin' to let _all_ that slide."

"You _what!?_ She tried to _kill_ you, Ranma!"

"I know. And yet I'm willing to forgive and forget all a' that."

* * *

Kasumi put away her book and considered the past few days some more. She had the sinking feeling that she was being a little naughty. Not like that time she was possessed and played painful but ultimately mostly harmless pranks on the family, not that kind of naughty.

It was the _bad_ kind of naughty.

The exhilarating kind of naughty.

The kind that made her want to not look away when her fiancé stood up in the bath. The kind that made her want to take that showerhead she'd looked at instead, and wash away the feelings in a more… figurative way.

She squirmed in her seat on the bench and straightened out her dress. At the rate she was going, Ranma wouldn't be a cute little girl when she - _he_ slept in her room, in his own futon…

He'd be his usual self. Handsome and strong. _She_ 'd the be little spoon as he held her close at night, sharing the bed, with his…

Blushing, Kasumi stuffed the rest of her stroopwafel in her mouth and ran (for a certain womanly definition of running) home.

She had a date with a showerhead.

* * *

"So I figured, since there's no way that's gonna happen, and I _do_ like your company, it might be nice ta jus' drop the whole kiss a' marriage bullshit and jus' be good fuckin' friends."

"I hope for your sake that last bit was just for emphasis, Ranma."

"Shanpu understand."

"Really?"

"Great grandmother already talk of give up. Is no way even she convince _àirén_ to come with. Last time you go to China, you _kill Saffron!_ 'Impress' is too soft word."

"Ugh, don't remind me."

"Oh yeah, _that_ whole thing. I could've sworn I heard you say you loved me."

"Is okay, stupid prince alive. But Shanpu understand. Will use ' _àirén_ ' like Nice Girl use, maybe?"

"I think Kas actually started to _mean_ it, but I get whatcha mean. And maybe give the normal kinda hugs?"

"Chehehe. Vio… Akane right, _is_ pervert!"

"Eh, maybe I am, see if I give a shit. Anyway, 'Kane? What's the deal with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean how every time ya see me in even the _least_ embarrassing situations, you _immediately_ seem to conclude I'm at least as bad as the ol' lech and attack me for it. Cos I assure you, nine outta ten I ain't do nothing. Sometimes literally. Like say f'r instance I get knocked the fuck out with a big-ass rock and stumble blindly into Kasumi's arms?"

"You were gr-"

"No, I wasn't. Nabiki and both our dads confirmed it for me after, I was doin' _nothing_. Okay, I had my face all up in Kas' boobs, but _look at me_ Akane, I'm a head smaller than she is when I'm like this. Where else was my face gonna end up?"

"Well… _my_ boobs, maybe?"

"But Akane not tall enough, unless _ài_ \- Ranma fall over lot."

"Thank you, Shampoo. I got more examples if you want 'em, 'Kane. Or would you rather skip ahead to the forgive-forget part?"

* * *

"Oh my," Kasumi sighed as she put the showerhead back on the hook. "That didn't help at all."


	6. Urges

"Ranma, do you know where Kasumi is?" Akane asked as Ranma entered the room, his black hair still steaming a little.

"Yeah, I think she's in her room. Didn't really feel like botherin' her so I-"

"Good god, Ranma," Akane interrupted. "Why are you still dressed like that!?"

"Oh, this?" Ranma looked down and indicated the girly shirt he was still wearing. "Like I just said, I didn't wanna bother Kasumi and all my clothes are in her room. 'Sides, it's pretty comfy."

"I can't believe you sometimes."

Genma looked up from his game with Sōun and gasped. "Oh the humiliation, to see my own flesh and blood go around in women's clothing like that! If your mother could see you now…"

"Oy! Don't talk about Mom as if she dead, Pops!" Ranma reprimanded, then kicked his father out into the pond. Sōun, of course, happily took the opportunity to completely alter the game pieces. "But y'know what? If it bothers ya that much, 'Kane, I _suppose_ I could go and interrupt Kas?"

"Please," Akane replied. "I don't think I can take you serious in that shirt."

Ranma accepted the excuse. It was always better than "just wrong," he figured as he went upstairs. "Who even knows what she's doin' in there," he muttered as he knocked on Kasumi's bedroom door.

Akane watched from below, still on high pervert alert, when the door opened and Ranma was suddenly yanked into the room. "What the shit," she whispered as the door was all but slammed shut, then followed up the stairs. Just when she was about to barge into the room, she stopped to consider the facts (something she and Ranma had agreed would be a Good Thing™ for her to do more often) and decided to wait and see, or rather hear, what would happen next.

"Geez, Kas. Didn't think you'd do _that_ ," Ranma said, interrupted by Kasumi's kisses.

"Ranma dear, just don't. I nearly made a scene in the park and…"

"You do look a little flushed."

Kasumi did not, in fact, look a "little" flushed.

"You have no idea what you've done to me, do you?" Kasumi breathed as she peeled _her_ shirt off of Ranma. "I'm supposed to be this proper housewife… they all expect me to be and I'm not even anyone's wife yet!" She tightly held onto Ranma's chest. "But here we are. You're just… you're just so _nice_ and _helpful_ and… damn it, you're sexy in two different ways, that's just not fair!"

Akane, catching most of the words from the other side of the wall, gasped. Her first thought was that Ranma had corrupted her sister, but she pushed that aside. It was actually quite alike what Kunō thought Ranma had done with her and his own female side. It was actually even stupider when Akane put it like that. And yet she couldn't quite help but stay and listen some more.

"Whatcha mean- _ooh!_ -two different ways, Kas?"

"You know perfectly well what I mean. But," Kasumi said in a husky voice that nobody had expected her to ever use, "do you know what I mean… when I say a woman has urges?"

"Ah…"

"You've been a woman often and long enough, Ranma."

"I'm a man, dammit," Ranma argued, but he couldn't help but smile as he said it.

"And _how_."

Behind the door, Akane blushed almost as red as she'd get when angry. Were they actually going to do _that_ kind of stuff? The kind of thing that she, the first fiancée (by her count at least) hadn't gotten to do? She'd conveniently forget that they were only sixteen at that time, and technically Ranma was barely even seventeen. Nineteen-year old Kasumi was, for all Akane could tell, about to bed a boy almost three years her junior, who wasn't even legal age yet!

 _Does that make Kasumi a pervert?_ Akane pondered, then dismissed it as a natural impossibility.

And yet, in her room, Kasumi had Ranma pinned against the wall. One of the greatest martial artists of his generation, if not _the_ greatest, brought low by a simple housewife, or the closest thing to it an unmarried young woman could be considered. She had him, quite literally, by the balls.

Ranma, for all his sexual inexperience and bravado, let it happen. As far as he knew, Kasumi was as much a virgin as he, but where he had a near-encyclopedic knowledge of martial arts, she had at least half of Dr. Tōfu's personal library, which no doubt included some very interesting and relevant information on sexuality.

Now, Ranma was by no means a coward. The Saotome school's "ultimate technique" was not, after all, _just_ running away, but running away to buy time to think and strategize. And yet, if there was _one thing_ he was not at all prepared for, it was his current situation; being together with a beautiful young woman whom everyone in the house recognized as his fiancée, pinned against her bedroom wall, shirtless, and her with one hand teasingly playing with the hardest goddamn erection he could remember ever having… and she fully intended to have that thing inside her somewhere in the next half an hour or so, if he read the signs right.

No, to say Ranma Saotome wasn't ready for such a thing was by all means an understatement.

Meanwhile, Akane found herself squirming at the thought. Her mind's eye couldn't seem to decide if she should fantasize about herself in such a position, or her sister, as every time she heard them make any noise loud enough to carry through the door her imagination snapped back to the latter. It would've been annoying if she wasn't somewhat enjoying the idea either way. Of course, not being able to _see_ what Kasumi and Ranma were doing exactly didn't help, leaving her own most certainly perverted mind to fill in a lot of gaps.

"Kas, do we gotta do this now?"

"Mmm?" Kasumi "asked" as she took one of Ranma's hands and placed it on one of her breasts.

"Like, I won't deny that I'm enjoyin' this or anythin'..."

"Mmm, good. I'd be so disappointed," Kasumi breathed.

"But I'm… fuck it, I'll admit it, I'm just not ready to go this far, Kas."

"Aw? Well… that's fair, I suppose," Kasumi conceded as she gently released Ranma's manhood. "I guess this must've been quite a surprise."

"Yeah, kinda. Didn't think you had it in ya," Ranma said in relief, twitching when he realized the double entendre. Behind the door, Akane relaxed and sagged onto the floor.

"I'm still, oh my… I'm still horny though."

 _Goddammit_ , Akane cursed.

Ranma took Kasumi by the shoulder and turned her around, holding her not entirely unlike how she'd held him before if not for the other hand still holding onto one of her breasts. "Well, maybe we can… I dunno, we could cuddle."

"We've cuddled before, dear."

"Yeah but like… y'know, naked?"

"Oh. Oh my, that'd be lovely."

"And maybe we oughta lock the door first?" Ranma suggested.

"Please, do lock your fucking door!" Akane called out. "I've been doing pretty damn well on my self control so far but if you two start having… start doing _that_ kinda stuff I don't wanna barge in there!"

Ranma snickered. "I _knew_ she was there."

"Yeah I was! You want some water, perv?" Akane half-jokingly offered, hoping it would prevent the worse outcome.

Ranma looked around the room for a second as he considered the offer. "Nah, there's a glass right over there, Akane. But thanks for the idea!"

"My pleasure," Akane replied, biting back some disgust and a not insignificant amount of jealousy as she stood up again. "I'll be in the bath!"

Careful not to make a mess on the floor, Ranma took the glass of water and changed. Kasumi quickly found that she still desired Ranma, even in his girl form, and kissed her eagerly on the lips.

"So… cuddle?" Ranma asked as he watched his fiancée sit on her bed and strip.

"Cuddle," Kasumi confirmed. "But I don't think I'm in any state to make promises," she added with a giggle.

Ranma shrugged and bent over to take off his pants. "Eh, what can ya do anyway when we're both girls?"

"Oh my… what indeed. Now, will you join me in my bed, Ranma dear? It's nice and soft."

"Fitting. So are you," Ranma joked as he sat down on the edge of the bed and watched Kasumi fall into a position that all but invited him to be the little spoon, blow to his masculinity it might've once been. "Oh well, guess I'mma learn something new today," he said, and let the taller woman embrace him.

"You might. How much do you know about girls' bodies?" Kasumi asked as she trailed a hand up to Ranma's breasts, returning the favor from before with added interest.

"Oh, that's- not that much, I guess?" Ranma squeaked, enjoying the feel of Kasumi's soft fingers teasing around his suddenly _very_ sensitive nipple. "Like… I got somethin' of a clue, I think? What the most important parts are, like- woah yeah like the nipples!"

Kasumi kissed the back of Ranma's head, momentarily wishing she could reach his neck. "Have you ever… you know…"

"What?" Ranma murred.

"Touched yourself? Down there?" Kasumi asked, softly patting the smaller girl just below his navel.

"I don't think I ever did, actually. Is that bad?"

Kasumi was taken aback for a second, not having expected that question. "Of course it's not bad, dear. Not even as a man?" Surely he'd helped himself get rid of the erections that would no doubt be inevitable with a love life like his.

"I tried once or twice. Didn't really work."

"Oh? Why's that?" Kasumi pressed as her fingers played around between Ranma's legs, approaching but not yet touching the most important bits. Even from there, she could tell her gentle ministrations had the right effect.

"First time, tried imaginin' bein' with Akane. Couldn't see it happening to be honest… mmm, this feels kinda nice though."

Very carefully, Kasumi ran a finger up Ranma's cleft, to which her lover shivered against her. "Shampoo?"

"Shampoo was better… then she changed and that kinda fucked it up."

Still with near-surgical care despite her own earlier eagerness, Kasumi lightly brushed Ranma's folds with her index and middle finger, and parted them. "Ukyō?"

"Can't really imagine-" Ranma inhaled sharply as parts of his girl body that were rarely touched before felt the touch of more experienced fingers. "- U-ucchan like that… mmm…"

Kasumi paused to consider her next words. "...Kodachi?"

"Chehehe, no waaay, don't ruin iiit~"

"Ryōga?"

When Ranma inevitably broke out into shamed giggles, Kasumi's fingers found their mark. She lightly pushed a fingertip against the little button and stopped the giggles with a sharp gasp.

"I'm sure he might've touched himself to a fantasy of you." Kasumi firmly grabbed Ranma before he could react. "And that's nobody's fault but your own, pretending to be his fiancée like that. And you know what?" Kasumi asked as she held a finger against Ranma's opening. "...Bad girls like you need punishment."

In the bathroom, Akane sank her head under the hot water as _the sounds_ broke through from above. She could only imagine what went through Uncle Saotome - _the sounds_ could only be louder in the living room.

* * *

Half an hour later, a slightly ruffled Kasumi and still female, perhaps more ruffled Ranma finally came back downstairs. Where the latter's previous outfit was somewhat girly, his new outfit was perhaps even worse simply by not being just a shirt, but a proper dress. His father, who had found ample time to change back (even without Kasumi available to put the kettle on - he now owed Nabiki fifty yen "for services rendered") was the first to react.

"Boy! It's bad enough you insist on going around as a girl so often but a floral sundress is really pushing it," Genma immediately went off. Ranma stood there, scratching the back of his head and waiting for the big oaf to finish. Or pause to take a breath, it didn't matter much - sundress or not, his old man was gonna take another dive the moment he stopped running his mouth as if Ranma had learned it from him.

Which he had, to a certain degree, but that wasn't the point.

"Really now boy, at least last time there was a purpose to it, even if it was just to mess with the Hibiki boy but what possible reason could you have to go _prancing around_ like some school idol reject like that?"

"School idol?" Ranma muttered. "Seriously?"

"That ugly old thing hardly even _fits_ you, boy!"

Kasumi stomped one foot on the floor - certainly a rare occurrence for her. "Uncle Genma, how dare you? That's one of _my_ dresses you just insulted! You insult my taste in clothes, you insult _me_. Just for that, there'll be no place for you at the dinner table tonight. _Fuck you_ , Uncle."

Genma swallowed a surprised lump. Beside him, Sōun gasped at what he'd heard.

Ranma took Kasumi by the arm and gently pulled her along to the kitchen. "I'm sorry my characteristically filthy mouth has influenced this wonderful woman. I'll get the soap for the both of us."

The dress _was_ somewhat too large for Ranma's small female frame though.


	7. The Cute One

"Welcome to Ucchan's- oh, it's you Ranma-honey!"

Ranma waved as he ducked under the curtain. "Yo, sup."

"Your usual, I take it?" Ukyō guessed as she got a fresh okonomiyaki started, while Ranma took a seat.

"Might as well but hey, can we talk?"

"Well, sure I guess?"

Ukyō was not, in fact, entirely sure. Something was _off_ about her Ranma today. She wasn't sure if it was the understated but flattering summer dress that he wore, the way he didn't have his hair in his usual braid, or the glimpse of honest-to-god bra straps under the dress' straps. As far as Ukyō knew, all three of these things were suspect.

She didn't think much at all about how Ranma was in his girl form, though.

"Umm, Ranma-honey?" Ukyō cautiously asked as she pulled out a jar of particular toppings and sprinkled them onto the rapidly-forming treat.

"Yeah?"

"Are you… are you okay?"

"I feel pretty good actually," Ranma answered. "Haven't run into any of the usual bullshit today - so far, so good."

Ranma's rough word choice did little to assuage Ukyō's troubled thoughts. "Ranma… you're wearing a bra. Blink twice if you're in distress."

Ranma looked straight at Ukyō, smirked, and very deliberately blinked _once_.

"I'm just… you know, getting used to things, I guess? Probably gonna haveta wear the damn thing more often in the future, I dunno."

He promptly cupped his breasts in his hands and jogged them a little. _That_ sort of behavior certainly was some relief to Ukyō, as was the simple fact that they were, at that time, alone in the restaurant.

"Ya wanted to talk, though?"

"Ah yeah. Ya heard about how Akane gave the Tendō engagement to Kasumi?"

"I caught something 'bout that in school, I think," Ukyō confirmed as she flipped the savory pancake. "Was a _little_ too busy catching up on my studies to catch up on the latest gossip, if ya know what I mean."

"Yeah, I gotcha. Well… I don't think there's any use to beatin' round the bush here, might as well say it. Ukyō, how d'ya feel about me?"

"What kinda question 's that?"

"A relevant one. Y'know I care 'bout ya, Ukyō. But you _also_ know that… geez, this ain't easy. I feel real bad about what my old man did, trickin' your dad into gettin' us engaged even though he already had that engagement deal with the Tendōs 'n all that… Honestly, I feel like absolute shit when I think about how your life got fucked over when Pops ran off with your dad's cart."

"Don't really see why _you_ would feel bad when we both know it was yer _dad_ who's most at fault," Ukyō shrugged off as she placed the finished "Ranma special" in front of her best friend.

"Precisely _because_ Pops don't feel bad about this kinda stuff. Sometimes I wonder if his moral compass is broken or somethin'." Ranma unwrapped a pair of chopsticks and cut off a piece, slowing down only to speak. "A fucked-up youth can't be restored, but someone oughta pay ya back for the cart, at least."

"Can't be you, Ranma-honey. I _know_ you ain't got that kinda money on you."

"Hence the moochin' on your cookin', right? Well, _that_ at least I _can_ pay for... 'n starting today I'm gonna!"

"Really? You know you don't-"

"No, Ukyō," Ranma interrupted, halfway through the meal. "I know you give me these for free cos you love me, but I'm getting my relationships in order and there'll be no more leadin' you on like this."

Ukyō silently gasped. What Ranma just said was tantamount to "I don't love you back."

"I realized earlier that's what I've been doin' ever since ya came back, and I'mma tell ya two things."

Instead, Ranma cut another piece off of his okonomiyaki and ate it, leaving a somewhat confused Ukyō waiting.

"What?"

"One, I'mma pay for these from now on," Ranma enumerated, indicating the pancake with his chopsticks, "and _specifically_ brought the cash to do so."

"Okay… and the other thing?"

Ranma's serious expression dropped, replaced by an easy smile. "You got any need for a part-timer?"

"Between Konatsu and myself… I think I _could_ use an extra pair o' hands, yeah. Why?"

"Cos it's the least I can do to repay you for your dad's cart."

Ukyō stopped to consider the offer, a hand to her mouth, as she watched her somewhat-former love interest finish off the meal she'd made for him.

"I dunno, Ranma. I can be a pretty harsh taskmistress."

Ranma scoffed. "I wait tables for Cologne. How hard could be it possibly be to work for you?"

"Well, if that's what'll make you feel better… keep your money, Ranma-honey. I'll just take it from your earnings."

"Thanks, Ukyō. When can I start?"

"Lunch rush is in ten. Why don't you go see Konatsu?"

* * *

"Hello Ms. Kuonji," Kasumi called as she came into the restaurant. "Have you seen Ranma?"

"Welcome, welcome! Don't see you 'round here often, Ms. Tendō! Ranma-honey's on break out back," Ukyō answered in the middle of wiping down her grill.

"On break from… does he work here now?"

Ukyō smiled and nodded.

"Oh my. Between training, school, helping me, and moonlighting at Neko Hanten, I have to wonder how he still has any free time."

"Probably by not working for both places on the same day," Ukyō guessed. She only got Ranma as a waitress on certain days of the week, and could only assume the same held for Cologne's restaurant. She pointed at the door behind her, marked _employees only_. "But hey, can we talk?"

"Any time, and please call me Kasumi."

"Only if you call me Ukyō," the chef countered as she lead Kasumi through the door. From outside the room, they could hear Ranma and Konatsu train.

"So what was it you wanted to talk to me about, Ukyō?" Kasumi said, sitting down with her usual smile.

Ukyō pondered how to best phrase her question and settled on just being blunt about it. "Why the hell's Ranma wearing a bra?"

Kasumi almost smirked, or as much as she'd let herself. "Oh my, do you usually look at other girls' underwear, Ukyō~?"

"Oh shut up," Ukyō laughed. "You know damn well what I mean. Ranma _never_ wears a bra if he can avoid it, 'less there's some kinda wicked plot goin' on. An' I'm _pretty_ sure there isn't any wicked plots goin' on for the past three weeks."

"Maybe he hit his head?"

"Haah, don't even joke about that. But at least he still used ' _ore_ ' when he duhhh… oh damn."

"What is it, Ukyō?"

"It only just registered to me that I just got dumped. I think?"

Kasumi nodded in understanding. "He _has_ been working on cleaning up the mess that is his love life. He already made up with Shampoo, and Akane was right there. I'm told she didn't even hit him," Kasumi finished with a hint of sisterly pride.

"Okay, _now_ I'm impressed."

"You shouldn't joke about that though. Akane's really a sweet girl. She's just a violent maniac sometimes."

Ukyō raised an eyebrow at the observed hypocrisy. "How can you tell me not to joke about Akane being violent 'n then say shit like _that_?"

"Whoever said I was joking?" Kasumi retorted with a smile.

"Still dunno why he's wearing a bra though."

"I'm not entirely sure what to call it," Kasumi admitted, "but from what I can tell he's getting more used to his… unique situation. I think, mentally speaking, he's growing to be something in between man and woman, maybe? Finally discovering what he… _is_ , I guess. I'm sure there's a word for it."

"Y'mean like how Konatsu's physically a man, but thinks of herself as a woman, dresses and acts the part?"

Kasumi nodded. "And yet not quite like Konatsu. Ranma's starting to… not care, I suppose, about whatever his current form is at any given moment. He's not 'boy-type Ranma' or 'girl-type Ranma' anymore. He's just Ranma."

"Sounds t'me like that's how it oughta be. But y'know what I noticed, Kasumi?"

"What's that?"

"I noticed that Ranma didn't act sexy at any time on the job."

Now it was Kasumi's turn to raise an eyebrow. "Act sexy?"

"Yeah. Act sexy. Play up his female form's assets and all that. It's something Ranma-honey does when he tries to act like a girl instead of his normal charming self?"

"Ah yes, _that_."

"Well, he didn't. He was just being nice and professional all day and I gotta admit, he actually makes a damn _cute_ waitress like that."

Kasumi giggled at the thought.

"But y'know what? I guess as long as he don't start referring to himself as ' _watakushi_ ' or some shit like that, I won't worry."

"That goes both ways, Ukyō. If Ranma ever says ' _ore-sama_ ', you have my blessing to knock him out," Kasumi giggled.

"Well, break time's over. You want an okonomiyaki before you go, Kasumi?" Ukyō asked as she stood up and signaled to her staff.

"I think I'd like that. It's been too long since I've had one."

The two girls made their way back to the restaurant proper, quickly followed by the waitstaff. The restaurant being devoid of other customers at this hour, Kasumi took a seat at the grill and watched Ranma and Konatsu clean the tables.

"So what kinda toppings y'want, Kasumi?" Ukyō asked as she put a load of batter on the grill.

"Oh my, I honestly have no idea."

"No problem, we'll just do a plain 'n simple one then. That sound a'ight to you?"

"That sounds just excellent."

* * *

Not fifteen minutes later, just when Kasumi was about halfway through her meal, an irate Genma barged in and grabbed his son by the collar of his uniform.

" _Boy!_ I've tolerated you playing the housewife, I've _endured_ you wearing a dress, but to find you playing waitress in _two_ restaurants? You're growing _soft_ , boy. It's high time someone set you straight."

"Yeah, Pops? How 'bout we make it a challenge?" Ranma smirked as he deftly removed his father's hands from his collar. "Just to prove to you that I can still put your panda ass down."

"We'll see, boy. State your terms."


	8. Now is fighty time!

Genma stared down his ignominious son. "State your terms."

"A'ight, Pops. You 'n me, in the Tendō dojo. You win, I'll be as manly a man you ever saw. Marry Kas right there on the spot, knock her up tonight and we'll leave on a training journey the next day and be back in time for the birth."

Genma swallowed. The boy was _way_ too on the nose with that suggestion. Kasumi on the other hand _would_ have gasped or muttered an "oh my", but she had to admit it did sound like something Genma would've had in mind and, more importantly, she trusted Ranma to win, so she calmly sat and watched the challenge being laid down as she finished her meal.

"And if _you_ win, boy?"

Ranma held up a frilly dress and a long brown wig that the others recognized as coming from his disguise kit. "You wear these for a week," he challenged with a smile.

"Boy, if you can't take this serious we might as-"

"Pops, I'm taking this _dead fucking serious_. We're only doing this cos you think I've gone soft and un-manly," Ranma argued with a hand on his generous talent, "but let's be honest. I just need a good excuse to humiliate you, and this seems nice and karmic. Besides, I've no intention to lose."

Ranma walked - no, _sashayed_ past her flummoxed father, putting extra swing in his hips. "Best thing I learned from you, _Father_ … Ranma Saotome don't lose."

* * *

The whole crowd was gathered at the dojo. Sōun, Kasumi, Nabiki, Akane, Ukyō. Even Ryōga, Shampoo, and Konatsu were there, seated along the far wall.

"Y'know," Ukyō said as she watched Ranma and his father do some stretches, "as much as I wanna see Ranma-honey kick the bastard's ass… I don't think I can stand the idea of _him_ in a frilly dress and wig like that."

"I hear ya," Ryōga agreed. "I've seen some shit but that gave me chills."

"Y'know, he's dressed up like an old lady before," Akane reminded. "Back when Ranma succumbed to the Neko-ken?"

"He did?"

Akane nodded. "With a gray wig and all that, cos the _first_ time it happened Ranma was calmed down by this old lady who lived nearby, but she died some time afterwards."

"Can't imagine that plan worked, Sugar."

"It didn't. He ended up on _my_ lap though. _That_ worked," Akane recalled with a blush.

"Why the blush, Sugar? Somethin' you're not tellin' us?"

"He kissed me. Just like that. Kitty kiss on the cheek. That was my first kiss and he wasn't even himself at the time."

"It would've been cute if it hadn't angered you so much," Kasumi interjected.

Ryōga stopped in realization. "Hold up, was that when I found the creepy little shit nailing a photo of you two onto a tree and me 'n Kunō beat the crap outta Ranma for it?"

"You assholes still owe us for repairs," Nabiki called out. "Bursting out the floor like that."

"How much?"

"I'll get my ledger after the fight."

Shampoo perked up. "Came back from China then! Found _ài_ \- Ranma and Akane arguing at healer's about kissing!"

"You were there?" Akane asked in surprise.

Shampoo nodded with a smile. "Was just delivered to Tōfu in cardboard box. Saw it all from top of cabinet. Something about Ranma kissing Akane, get in fight, and Akane splash Ranma."

"Oh yeah. Ranma'd tricked you into thinking he was a girl who turned in to a boy, right?" Akane recalled.

"To save your life, no less," Ryōga leaned in.

"Then Shampoo get curse, know _cold_ water makes cursed form, and know be tricked! Find Ranma in bathroom, confirm truth. _So_ happy."

"Yeah, _real_ fuckin' happy alright."

"Now, Akane?" Kasumi said with a comforting hand on Akane's shoulder. "Try to put yourself in her place for a bit. If you thought the man you loved wasn't a man at all, and then found out he was after all, wouldn't _you_ be happy? Especially if you'd have to kill him if he wasn't?"

Normally, Akane would've thrown a fit. But then again, she'd been _trying_ to get better. "I guess maybe? Let's just watch Mr. Saotome eat floor, okay? I think they're almost ready."

Indeed, the two fighters stood up straight, adjusted their belts, and went through the customary pre-fight ceremony - stand facing each other, bow, take a few steps back. Sōun stood up and raised one arm.

"Gentlemen, are you ready?"

"Yes," father and son chorused in reply.

"Then… _begin!_ "

They dropped into their fighting stances. Genma's was fierce and aggressive, Ranma's relaxed but determined. Within seconds, Genma was right in front of his son to try and catch him with a leg sweep, which Ranma had seen coming and jumped over, only to turn that jump into a spinning kick aimed for his father's head. Genma in turn ducked, judging a prone position better than getting nailed, and flipped back up as Ranma landed, just barely dodging his own sweep.

Ranma jumped, trying again to nail Genma in the face, and Genma dutifully dodged only to discover he'd been tricked when Ranma landed behind him. Before Genma realized that Ranma only pretended to kick him in the face, he felt the sting of a thousand punches in his back.

Genma considered the implications as he staggered. _No calling the attack, huh?_

The old man turned around and tried to punch his son, but found his fist deflected. He tried again, but hit nothing. It was a stupid idea on the face of it, to try and punch someone who was fast enough to deflect such a thing. But Genma was mostly just stalling for time.

Time that he used to hide his presence. Most of Ranma's and indeed his own techniques were dependant on ki, not senses like vision, so if he slipped into the _Umi-sen-ken_ , Ranma shouldn't be able to intercept his strikes, or so Genma's working theory went. Indeed, some punches went through even as his audience could still see him, but not _see_ him.

In total, he landed ten hits. Then, to Genma's despair, he found himself deflected again. He had no time to realize it was because his punches had a distinct rhythm to them, and Ranma didn't actually need to see him in any sense. Coming back out of the _Umi-sen-ken_ , Genma stepped back to find himself winded and Ranma noticeably breathing somewhat heavy. Sustained use of the _Amaguriken_ wore him out, it seemed.

Slowly, the fighters started circling each other.

"You're good, boy… but are you good enough?"

"Trash talkin' me ain't gonna help you, Pops."

In the audience, Ukyō and Shampoo realized what was happening and nodded. Shampoo quickly got up and slid open the door to the garden. They knew what it meant when Ranma got circle-like movement patterns involved and didn't rise to any taunts - Ukyō knew from being there when Ranma first learned the move, and Shampoo knew because it was one of her tribe's moves. Soon enough they wouldn't be circling at all, but going in a spiral. Genma would be the one who rose to Ranma's taunts. Fortunately for the red in Nabiki's ledger, they _also_ knew the result didn't _have_ to go up.

"Y'know Pops, I think long brown hair would suit ya."

Genma growled as he paced around his pest of a son. "I don't intend to wear it, _boy_."

"What, ya gonna ignore the stakes of a challenge just like that? Typical, Pops," Ranma sighed. "For a man who's all about honor, you sure seem like you don't give much of a damn about it in practice."

Genma was many things. He was a thief, a scoundrel, a drunkard, and very much a raging hypocrite insofar as he talked a lotta talk but didn't walk the walk much at all concerning such concepts like honor. This was of course mostly because he was in the first place a scoundrel of the highest order. Still, he did _not_ like being reminded of this simple fact.

"What do _you_ know of honor, boy? Gallivanting around with a half dozen lovers. Some of them are even men! You have no shame, boy."

Ryōga could outright feel the smirking gaze of the girls sitting right next to him.

"Might I remind you that at least half again of those are entirely your fault?" Ranma retorted as he led his dad into the spiral. "You dishonored yourself _and_ the man you call your lifelong friend when you engaged me to Ucchan," he continued to hammer, all without raising his voice, "and then you dishonored her and her dad when you stole their cart."

"I-"

"Face it, Pops. The only way you know honor is by how you're the exact…"

Genma lunged.

"Fucking."

Ranma side-stepped the lunge and clenched his fist.

" _Opposite! Hiryū Shōten Ha!_ "

The last thing that went through Genma's thick skull before he found himself thrown _very_ violently out the door into the garden was a simple "oh _now_ he called it."

Then he crashed into the garden wall and lost consciousness.

"Dumbass panda helped me learn that move, there's really no excuse," Ranma muttered as the girls and two men in the audience applauded the win. "Mr. Tendō? Call it, please?"

* * *

"Nope, no movin' the goalposts on this, Pops. You're wearin' the dress and wig and that's final. I'm already showing mercy by not insisting you go out in public like this but that's as far as I'll go," Ranma insisted as he brushed his hair. Kasumi had offered to do it for him, but he'd declined as surely she had better things to do than watch Genma squirm.

Genma, for his part, couldn't fathom how he fit in the frilly dress. He was at least twice the size of his son, after all! He considered asking, but expected nothing but an infuriating smirk for a reply.

It had become quite tricky to tell if Ranma was male or female lately. He did things like brush his hair like a girl, fight like a guy, wear somewhat (but not _too_ ) girly outfits in private, only matching his bodily form to his dress when going out, be it by changing one or the other. He didn't seem bothered when people called him a girl - usually when he was in his female form and people called him such, he'd quickly defend himself with the almost catchphrase-like "I'm a man, dammit." But recently, Genma noticed, he didn't react to such a thing at all.

Of course, he wasn't there when Ukyō and Kasumi discussed something quite like it the day before, but he too felt that as long as his… _son_ still used the ' _ore_ ' pronoun, it couldn't be _that_ bad. Could it?

But damn did that wig _itch_. Genma didn't know if it was his bald scalp, Ranma's experience, or perhaps itching powder, but that thing was the very definition of uncomfortable. Right after that dress.

"Y'know, I have just _one_ regret about this challenge."

"What's that, boy?" Genma asked. He figured that one regret better be good or he would _tear into_ the boy.

"You look like shit warmed over in that outfit. I shoulda picked something better."

With a roar, Genma threw himself at this insolent child, only to miss as Ranma ducked and rolled away, ready to go downstairs and eat.

"Ranma, I just don't _get_ it. How can you claim to be a man when you waltz around like that?" Genma asked, exasperation on his face as he indicated the breezy, short dress that his son wore as if it was a tunic, over his usual silken pants. At least it didn't have any flower patterns on it - dragons were _much_ preferred.

Before Ranma could respond, Kasumi did it for him. "Mr. Saotome? I think I can speak from personal experience when I say that no matter what he wears, or what form he's in, Ranma is perfectly manly."

Akane flinched. "Siiis!"

"Coulda been all yours, but _nooo_ …" Nabiki teased. "Speaking of, can I borrow your beau for a couple hours, Kasumi?"

"Whatever for, Nabiki?"

"I have an… acquaintance who owes me a whole lotta money and it's high time I collected. Problem is, the slippery asshole lives in a pretty bad neighborhood and I think we can all agree that a pretty young thing shouldn't go out there alone."

"So you want me along for protection?" Ranma gathered.

"Exactly. Once we're there it should go well enough but it's the _getting there_ that'd get Daddy to get the armor out."

"Fuck it, I'm game. Kasumi?"

"Five hundred yen per hour," Kasumi deadpanned. "Now, Ranma filled me in on a certain thing that happened a while back that I think ought to put the question of his manliness to rest."

"Ah jeez Kas, do we gotta?" Ranma grumbled.

"I don't know, _àirén_. I'd think having people call you 'the Godkiller' would be worth enough manly points to afford wearing a dress like that."

Ranma sighed. "They'd be wrong though. Saffron ain't a god, and he ain't dead. I'll admit, I didn't sleep all too well when we got back, thinkin' I'd killed a guy. When I got word that the feathery asshole'd reborn, that was one hell of a relief."

"Not a god?" Akane asked. "This so-called 'feathery asshole' grew back limbs you'd cut off. He literally came back from the dead!"

"Well, that still don't make him a god, though I can get how people would think he is. Dude wasn't omnipotent, wasn't omniscient, and thank actual god he wasn't omnipresent."

"That's a lotta big words from you, Saotome," Nabiki teased.

"Suck it, Biki," Ranma retorted with a humored smile as he gestured at his crotch.

"No thanks, I know who's been there."

"But yeah," Ranma continued, "I think Kasumi's got it about right on the money. You… _defeat_ a guy like Saffron, noone gets to call you unmanly. Especially you, Pops."

"I think we should all go out for a nice bit of ice cream or something later today," Kasumi offered. "Just… all of us girls, sit around, talk, and enjoy each other's company."

Nabiki nodded. "All of us? Want me to call Shampoo and Ukyō?"

"All of us, yes."

"Does that include Ranma?" Akane asked.

"Why wouldn't it? Ranma's one of us girls too, isn't she?"

Nabiki shrugged as Ranma sat and processed what he'd just heard. "After that whole thing about being a 120% manly godkiller, that's a _really_ weird thing to say, Sis. Only you could do such a thing."

"Thank you," Kasumi said with a smile. "Oh, maybe we can have a sleepover afterwards! It's been too long since I've had one! We'll use the dojo, if that's alright with Father."

"Geez. Six girls having a night in a dojo?" Ranma chuckled. "Ya sure you don't wanna invite Sayuri and Yuka, make that eight?"

The fact that Ranma, despite everything but the dress, counted himself among the girls didn't escape a single one of them.

Akane clapped her hands together. "Y'know what? It's been a while since I've properly hung around with those. We totally should invite them!"

"Could be fun, could at the very worst be an amusing trainwreck," Ranma agreed. "And hey, Nabiki? That's 150% at the minimum."

"Not in that little black number it ain't, China-boy."

Ranma shrugged and, to everyone's surprise, threw off the dress revealing his well-defined bare chest, littered with little faded scars, and an toned abdomen that wasn't exactly a six-pack but everyone in the room _knew_ that it could take a gut punch like the best of them - perhaps only Ryōga could take it harder.

Akane and Nabiki were a little too busy literally navel gazing to notice Kasumi was bleeding in her apron.


	9. The King's Game

It was quite a shock for the proprietor of the ice cream store to see not just the usual red-haired sweetheart walk in with her friend, but for several others to come along. He knew Kasumi well enough — basically every business in the area was familiar with her. He wasn't quite as familiar with the two serious-looking girls, nor the ordinary-looking two… but the long-haired girl in the Chinese dress put the man on edge.

Akane and Ukyō were in turn surprised how very friendly and strangely non-aggressive the whole outing was. It was not until after she realized that Shampoo wasn't continuously cuddling up to Ranma that Akane realized she'd called it "non-aggressive" instead of "peaceful", like the word just hadn't come to mind. And Ranma didn't try to scam the proprietor, she noticed. Sure, he got the usual discount but Akane was _very_ well aware that Ranma didn't _act_. He was just being a cute red-head. Perhaps the poor ice cream guy was just that well trained? If nothing else, Akane noticed Nabiki seemed a little proud of Ranma for pulling it off. Not that Nabiki _showed_ it all that much, but Akane could tell. Barely.

Shampoo did actually hug Ranma every now and then, she and Kasumi flanking him in their seating arrangement. Akane found she simply couldn't dredge up enough motivation to care, especially after Shampoo leaned in for a kiss and got rapped on the head by Kasumi.

Sayuri and Yuka were quite content to just sit there, eat their ice cream, and giggle at the others' shenanigans, as one would. Until Yuka finished her bowl.

"Y'know, looking at Miss Kasumi and Ranma—"

"Yo hold up," Ranma interrupted. "Why's she get an honorific and I don't?"

"Respect has to be earned," Yuka gently shot back, to which Ranma graciously smirked. "But yeah. Looking at them, I can't help but think…"

"Think what, Yu?" Sayuri asked as she swapped her still half-full bowl with Yuka's.

Yuka leaned in a bit. "I think they... _fucked_ ," she whispered, dragging out the verb with a blush. To her infinite credit, Kasumi blushed perhaps even harder. Ranma smirked knowingly, showing more obvious pride (even though Yuka was wrong) than Nabiki had earlier, who in turn seemed highly intrigued by the idea. Akane also blushed, thinking of the same events her ex and sister were thinking of, while Shampoo seemed absolutely mortified.

Ukyō choked on a cherry, having mistaken Ranma's proud smirk for confirmation.

"What makes you think they did?" Sayuri asked, as flustered as any. "You _know_ Ranma, Yu. Ranma doesn't fff—do that!"

"I won't confirm or deny anything of that nature. Not here," Kasumi said with her usual serenity, after having taken a good ten seconds to collect herself and stop blushing.

 _We'll see about that_ , Nabiki thought as she plotted.

* * *

That evening, in the Tendō dojo, all eight girls (because Ranma totally counts) sat around with sleeping bags, futons, and sundry manner of snacks and drinks. Not a single one of them was properly dressed, and not one of them cared about it, not even Ranma. If he did care about how Shampoo was only wearing a large shirt and didn't seem to have anything underneath, he did an excellent job not showing. Which was only appropriate, since Shampoo did a good job not showing, too. Ranma himself was in his usual wife beater and boxers, Kasumi was right behind him in a fairly decent nightgown, and the other two Tendō sisters had their respective pajamas on. That left Ukyō in only pajama bottoms and an old T-shirt, and those two girls in their own pajamas.

"And he seriously thought he was in Okinawa! Hibiki must be the only boy these days who doesn't get pummeled for sneaking around the girls bathroom," Ukyō finished. "I mean, he's just so _innocent_ about it, right?"

Ranma wanted to quip about Ryōga's supposed innocence, but found he couldn't think of an example that couldn't be brushed off as proof that Ryōga _was_ acting innocently. The only thing he could think of would out his frenemy as P-chan. He couldn't very well do _that_.

That Kasumi was brushing his hair didn't help thinking much either. It was as distracting as it was utterly calming.

So instead, Ranma just lightly chuckled, which Ukyō noticed. "Don't you worry, Ranma-honey. You'll get free access to the girl's bathroom soon enough."

Ranma blushed and narrowed his eyes at Ukyō. "Fuck you, Ucchan," he muttered.

"Oh no, what would your fiancée think, to hear you say that about another girl?" Ukyō immediately countered.

Said fiancée calmly continued brushing Ranma's red tresses. "Not much, I'll admit. We had a very good conversation about these matters. Didn't we, Ranma dear?"

Ranma immediately recalled how that conversation went and curled up. "Yer killin' me here," he repeated.

"Right!" Nabiki called out, ostensibly to help Ranma out of a Situation. "Who wants to play a game?"

Basically all the others responded in favor, some raising a hand, some saying "yes" or "me", some doing both. "What game'd you have in mind, sugar?" Ukyō asked.

"You all know of the King's Game, right?"

Almost everybody nodded to that, though some weren't as fast to respond. Ukyō, being a business owner, was particularly quick to recognize it as something office workers might play on nights out and wasn't surprised at all Nabiki knew of it. The only ones who didn't have a clue at all were Ranma and Shampoo, the former confusedly thinking of the Gambling King instead and the latter being Chinese.

"For a lack of numbered cards and care to acquire some more so, I'd like to introduce you to a game _like_ the King's Game that foreigners play," Nabiki started. "They call it Truth or Dare, and all we need is an empty bottle and no sense of shame."

"I got the bottle," Ukyō offered, holding up an almost-empty soda bottle that she quickly finished and handed over to Nabiki.

"I got the no sense of shame," Ranma joked in a flash of self-awareness. "And so does Shampoo," he added as he glimpsed a grinning Shampoo secretly flashing her lack of underwear at him.

"Akane, could you be a dear and bop Shampoo for me please?" Kasumi asked with unfitting serenity.

" _Dě_ —oww!"

"Now then," Nabiki said as she confirmed the bottle was adequately empty, "we all sit around in a circle, and place the bottle in the center."

Yuka scootched over to let Ukyō sit in a more fitting position while Kasumi quickly finished her brushing and let Ranma sit next to her.

"Let's go by seniority to start, shall we? Kasumi, you go first. Spin the bottle, and whomever the neck points to you get to ask, truth or dare."

"Oh my, okay," Kasumi muttered as she reached over to give the bottle a spin. After a few tense seconds, it ended up pointing at Ranma.

"Huh, _almost_ a three-sixty. Imagine that," Ukyō quipped. Nabiki gestured at Kasumi to go ahead and ask.

"Ranma dear? I know it's a bit silly to ask _you_ this but truth or dare?"

"Yer right. That _is_ a silly question. Dare, of course!"

"Okay. Then… I dare you to let Shampoo sit on your lap," Kasumi firmly stated after a second or two of thought. Shampoo for her part lit up in delight at the idea.

"Well, that's not so b—"

"In her cat form," Kasumi finished. Shampoo wheezed.

"When'd you get so evil?!" Ranma retorted.

"Yeah, Sis. That's wicked," Akane joined in. "You know how Ranma gets around cats!"

"Fuck it," Ranma called out. "I'll do it. Ranma Saotome don't back out of a challenge," he boasted, trying not to tremble at the idea. Shampoo, meanwhile, stood up smirking like the cat who caught the canary, went out the door, padded over to the koi pond, took off her shirt, and splashed herself with some of the pond water. Finding a lightly trembling Ranma being held from behind (once again) by Kasumi, she tried not to meow as she calmly walked up to her love interest, climbed up into his lap, and curled up.

"It's okay, dear. It's just Shampoo," Kasumi cooed in his ear. "Don't think of her as a cat on your lap, think of her as what she really is. Just a girl. Just a shameless girl."

It sort of reminded Ranma of how he felt about Ryōga sleeping in Akane's bed, in pig form. That helped a little.

"Hold up. Did we agree on a duration for the dare?" Akane asked.

"Until she gets bored of it, or he snaps I guess," Nabiki offered in reply, to which Shampoo stirred and left the lightly trembling confines of Ranma's legs once more, then dashed off to the bathroom. "Okay, I guess she got bored of it."

"So now I gotta spin it, right?" Ranma asked as he recovered.

"Yeah but let's wait 'til Shampoo gets back."

Nabiki was not too surprised to find Shampoo returning just as she finished her sentence. Ranma reached out and gave the bottle a firm spin, watching it end up pointing at Akane.

"'Kane, truth or dare?"

 _Well, after that display I'm not gonna say dare_ , Akane considered. "I'll take truth."

"A'ight. Lemme think," Ranma requested. "Ah, I got one. What were you really thinkin' when ya first walked in on me in the bath way back then?"

"Oh yeah, I remember that one," Nabiki reacted. "My bad, telling her the bath was ready without checking."

"And my bad for not checking the sign, I guess?" Akane offered. "But… ooh, do I have to? It's been so long!"

"Is what she said," Shampoo quipped.

"Huh. Now that you put it like that… I guess we're all doomed anyway, huh?"

"Well, sugar?" Ukyō gently pushed for Akane to answer the challenge.

Akane sighed. "Yeah. When I saw Ranma as a boy, in the tub, I was thinking… 'who's this guy, oh no, he's hot.' Then I couldn't help but glance down and I saw his… you know. And… Shampoo's joke was about right. Ranma's got… _good genetics_."

"Thank you, 'Kane. You're not half bad yaself," Ranma offered. "Though I'd like t'state for the record that I maintained eye contact throughout."

"Must've gotten those genes from his mother," Sayuri joked.

"That's how it works, dummy," Yuka replied with a soft bop to the head.

"But yeah, it wasn't until I'd left again that the situation sank in and I guess in hindsight took the wrong turn?" Akane finished, then reached for the bottle. "And speaking of turn…"

The bottle landed on Ranma once more. "I guess it's mine again? This bottle's biased as hell."

"Too bad. Truth or dare?"

"Let it never be said that a Saotome learned from their mistakes," Ranma joked.

"Okay then, wise guy," Akane smirked. "I dare you to… huh, I'm drawing a blank here. Yuka, you got any ideas?"

Yuka, who was barely paying attention because of an image she had in mind of her walking in on Ranma taking a bath, blurted out a challenge immediately. "I dare you to make out with me!"

"... what," said Akane, Ranma, and Saiyuri all at once.

"Oh my," said Kasumi. Ranma looked at her to see if she was okay with the challenge, and Kasumi (much to the shock and/or awe of her sisters) smiled and nodded.

"Yuka what the hell," Saiyuri all but demanded. "You really want to get mixed up with Ranma's bullshit relationships?"

"No, no, I just… I just want to experience it?" Yuka defended meekly.

"Shampoo think Yuka want experience little more than that," the warrior girl next to them teased with a knowing smile.

"And you're okay with that, sis?" Nabiki pressed.

"A challenge is a challenge, and I really can't blame the girl for her interest," Kasumi shrugged. "I'm pretty sure you'd like a kiss too," she added winking at her sisters.

"Don't I get a say in this?" Ranma argued. "I mean, I guess I'm okay with kissin' Yuka on a dare but I ain't gonna let what Shampoo suggested slide jus' like that!"

"Yes," Kasumi was quick to reply, Akane fiercely nodding in agreement.

"Nope," Nabiki, Shampoo, Ukyō, and Sayuri vocally disagreed.

"Forget it," Ranma scoffed as he adjusted his shirt. "Yuka?"

"Y-Yes?"

Ranma was in front of the girl in a flash, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

"Now, Saotome," Nabiki chided, "that wasn't the dare."

"I know, I know. Don't wanna rush it, is all," Ranma defended himself as he held a trembling Yuka by the shoulders. "You sure 'bout this?"

"Y-Yes…"

"And all of you are okay with this?"

Some of the other girls took a little longer to reply, but all of them either nodded or shrugged. Ranma returned the shrug, then turned back to Yuka, grit his teeth, and kissed her on the mouth. He could feel the poor girl tense up in his grip, then relax again. They looked each other in the eye, as if to confirm if she was still down with it, and she parted her lips in response.

A few seconds of slightly-awkward tongue-wrestling later, a severely red in the face Yuka pushed Ranma away from her, who took it in stride and took back his position next to Kasumi.

"Anyone else feel hot?" Shampoo quipped, wringing her hands. Nobody dared answer.

"Hey, Kasumi? Are you really okay with your beau making out with other girls?' Ukyō asked to confirm.

"I've been keeping a close eye on the dare," the older girl answered. "If either of them had gone too far for my liking I would've stepped in, but I know Ranma is too honorable and… well, awkward to do that, and from what I know Yuka is even worse."

"Yeah," Ukyō agreed. "Look at her, she's still shaking."

Kasumi nodded, though she wasn't sure if Yuka was shaking of nerves or something else. "Who's next to spin, though? I seem to have forgotten in all the excitement."

"Mine," Ranma replied, grabbing the bottle. "Now let's see how bad this game can _really_ get."

 _Author's note: Aaah why'd I have to end this on a cliffhanger just when things might get really interesting? Because I'm a horrible creature. Now, you might be thinking "why is this chapter named "The King's Game" when it's about Truth or Dare? Well, I was looking up some things to see if Japanese sleepovers might involve T-or-D, discovered the similar King's Game, and spun up an excuse or two. Then I kept the original chapter title in honor of the final episode of Kamen Rider Zi-O airing last weekend. In other words,_ Rejoice!


End file.
